Posted after the fact but I put it together on the 29th April. I remember a couple of things while doing the speech. Firstly I mentioned My wife and I three times before I got going. I also got heckled by Stephen Fi that completely threw me. My joke for who is calling got the biggest laugh but the unique nose moth balled.
My wife and I. Pause. My wife and I would like to thank you all for coming. We are extremely grateful especially as you have all travelled a journey of some sort to be here this evening. Thank you.
Some of you have travelled further than others to be here so a special mentions goes to Janet who has travelled all the way from Qatar, Desmond Cole from Saudi Arabia, Callum, Claire and Martina from Rome, Angela and Desmond O’Hara from Spain, Sarah and George from Norway, Graeme and Monica from Kent, Anne and Hugh from Ireland, Nicky and William from Southampton and there are a few from London too.
Next up on my list of thank you's is for Philip and Julie. Now Philip and Julie very kindly arranges the invitations and order service and they were both beyond anything Fiona and I imagined. Thank you.
Now the next big mention and they have also made a long journey to be here this evening coming all the way from Zurich to be here this evening is Karen and Robert. Karen and Robert had a significant role to play in this wedding. They collected and smuggled the wedding and bridesmaid dresses all the way from New York. Thank you very much you two we are very grateful.
And so are the bridesmaids I am sure who look stunning this evening. Toast to the bridesmaids. All have had a significant part to play in getting Fiona ready today. Thanks all. And to everyone that went to Fiona’s hen. She had a great time.
A special mention for Ailsa. On top of all her required duties Ailsa managed to find the time to make the wonderful wedding cake which if tastes as good as it looks we are in for a treat (pun intended). Thanks very much.
Ushers. Good ushing. I think you guys should open a business as car parking attendants. Thanks very much for your hard work today and for coming along on the ski trip. I really had a great time and what happened on that trip stays on that trip although Martin tonight please keep your top on. And your kilt for that matter as well.
Not only is it our wedding day but two guests are actually celebrating their Birthdays today. Claire and James. Happy birthday both of you and special shout out to James who is actually celebrating his 18th which means he can have his first every taste of alcohol. Enjoy. As a thanks Fiona and I have bought you two a little something. I have not had nearly enough whisky for this but “Happy Birthday ….”
So and to our Parents. Mum and Dad thank you very much for all the support over the years. For raising me to be the person I am and for everything you have contributed to this Wedding. Thanks. Special mention to you mum and Maureen for arranging and putting together the favours. They are fantastic. Thanks. Plenty of spare minatures folks if you want them, speak to Martin.
Stephen and Sheena. Words can not describe how grateful we are. Sheena you have put more work into this than probably your own wedding.
Now. Stephen, what can I say. After that epic speech I am just glad on behalf of my wife that you did not 55 minutes long and you used the ‘censored version’. Just to share with you how much Stephen torments me I would like to tell you all about asking Stephen his permission to marry Fiona.
I called him up, in fact I had had a great deal of difficulty getting through to him, something like 15 missed calls. But on the 16th call I managed to get through. I was incredibly nervous and I straight away asked. “Stephen, with your blessing, I would like to marry your daughter”. He replied “Of course you can. who is calling”.
I’m joking. He actually said “No.” He wound me up for 5 minutes before eventually saying he would be proud to have me as a Son in Law. Well Stephen I am proud to have you as a Father in law.
Which leads me to Fiona. Now Fiona. Fiona this is the most significant part of our journey together but I would like to share to our guests how we first me. It was 2005 and I had just completed my gap year in Courchevel, I was trim, slim, handsome, little bit more hair and ready to do some socializing in Freshers week.
On the first day you turned my plan inside out. Nicky is the person to thank, she invited me along to a house party, or was it the other way round? I can’t remember too many shandys and while settling into another shandy at freshers you walked into the room in Student halls and I was awestruck. I remember it incredibly vividly. Time stood still
At first I thought that’s a unique nose but as the months and years went by in perspective it was love at first sight.
Thank you for agreeing to marry me, thankyou for the wonderful 9 years and hears to the next 80.
So thats all from me folks I now will shortly hand over to my best man. Neil. Special Thanks to Neil for agreeing to be my best man and for everything he has done to help make this day go so well and the support he has given me in getting me to the Altar. Cheers mate.
Before I hand over to him I have to warn you all. Neil has a very poor memory and often gets confused by events often mistaking himself for me so with that I thank you for humoring him for the next 10 minutes.
Children leave the room.
Younger cousins don’t believe a word he says
Older cousin’s you have probably done worse
My family, I have definitely done worse
Fiona, its too late to change your mind
Barman can I have a double whisky please. Dalmor would be great.
Neil Henning.
